REVIEW: Genshin Impact


Genshin Impact is a game where you go on a journey to kill some monsters in search of your twin that you lost in a battle against God. In said search, you encounter some emergency rations and massive anime titties in your adventure across the land of Teyvat.

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Genshin Impact, developed by Mihoyo Studios, the same fuckers that made the magnificent Honkai Impact 3rd, have stopped sucking the Devil May Cry dick for inspiration and instead have moved onto sucking the dick of Breath of the Wild, but, my God, they did a good goddamn job. Genshin takes the elements of current JRPGs, such as enhancing and upgrading characters and gear, with your traditional party of four, as seen in games like Xenoblade and Dragon Quest, while taking the elements of a huge ass world with a lot of interactive shit from games like Breath of the Wild and The Witcher 3, and added gacha elements and anime titties into the mix.

Genshin Impact details Xingqiu - Gematsu
Combat consists of ramming your characters into the nearest enemy and pressing the "fuck shit up" button repeatedly. Of course there's also skills and combos and shit, but the real fun comes from using these characters in unorthodox ways to kill shit,l such as flying 30000 meters up and slamming your sword down like a fucking guillotine on some Ogre's unwilling head, or using Klee as a sacrifice as you constantly bait motherfuckers out and switch over to Diluc for massive fucking damage. Enemies include your standard shit you have to fight, story bosses, and massive fucking world bosses that will flatten you like your mother on her period.

Genshin Impact's attacks

The world of Genshin is fucking ginormous, with many dungeons to find, treasures to loot, and ducks to murder for food. Like Breath of the Wild, each location has some sort of thing to do, whether its some kid assigning a sidequest to look for his dad that left for milk 2 years ago, or killing the massive fucking storm god seen in the photo without dying. You can fly, climb, and run across the land of Teyvat in search of anything that gives you money or gacha currency, as long as the game will load it in. There's also a teleport system to make travel from areas way easier, as I'm sure most people don't want to spend 5 fucking hours running from town to town for a fucking egg delivery.

Genshin Impact: How the Pity System Works | Game RantBest girl

As with most gacha games, you pull from a banner to grab waifus, with a special currency meant for doing as such. In Genshin, this currency is not only hard to obtain, but also useless compared to the fucking abysmal drop rates on banners. Teammates will be easy to obtain, and you don't necessarily need the rarest team member to beat any specific boss or enemy in this game, but I'm sure some people just want that special 5 star character man. There is a pity system within the gacha itself, which is nice, but compared to the drop rates, the pity system isn't worth the return on the 100 bucks some people spent on best girl boy Venti.

Genshin Impact details Barbara and Diluc - Gematsu
On that note about Venti, character design in this game is fucking phenomenal. One can't really tell who's what gender, because every fucking character looks like a really attractive anime girl. The voice cast is also fucking phenomenal. Your character, the Traveler, can be voiced by Shun Horie (Rent-A-Grilfriend) or Aoi Yuuki (Youjo Senki), Fischl is voiced by the wonderful Maaya Uchida (Danmachi, A Certain Scientific Railgun, High School DxD), and our OP fire boi Diluc is voiced by Kensho Ono (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure).

Genshin Impact details Fischl - Gematsu
Of course, this review doesn't encompass every single feature of the game, because I'd like people to experience the game for themselves. Overall, this game is easily the best mobile game I've ever had the privilege to play, and goes past the main purpose of a mobile game, killing time, to being an actual game one can enjoy whenever and wherever.

Genshin Impact is available on IOS, Android, PC, and PS4 for FREE, I recommend that everyone should at least give this game a try due to its phenomenal gameplay and story.

I'd rate a Genshin Impact a 10/10, best mobile game of the decade.

Now go fuck yourselves or play this game, either one, there is no in between.

- Gabe of Big Bohos