Funky Kong Mortgage Assessment


Okay, this is serious. I'm in dire need of some quick cash; Funky Kong is about to initiate a foreclosure on my home and I've no means to convince him away from this tyranny. His contract explicitly stated that each quarterly payment be made in US banknotes, and, despite this, he insists that the aggregate of my mortgage fulfilled thus far be reverted and paid back in Banana Coins. Preposterous! Everyone knows that Banana Coins are only exchanged in Donkey Kong Country! What is this nonsense?! For the plight I've been unwillingly wound up in, I've no choice but to beseech to any denizens of Donkey Kong Country who find it within their hearts the benevolence to aid a man on the brink of impoverishment and penury. For the few who may or the one I imagine, I need what little cash I have remaining converted to Banana Coins, pronto. Donations are also heartily appreciated. I can't have Funky Kong breathing down my neck any longer; I'll die of embarrassment!


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