I was recently moving into a new house, so I had to go through my attic and put everything into boxes. It was particularly hot on this day, so I was sure to drink plenty of water. During my cleaning session on this day, I found a cassette tape that I don't recall buying. Even stranger was that my cassette player was not even located in the attic.
After a long, hot day of working on boxing the contents of my attic, I decided to take the cassette down and give it a listen. The first thing I noticed was that the cassette tape had very faded labeling on it. It was hard to tell exactly what would be on the tape, but I figured that would make it even more satisfying to listen to.
I popped that sucker into my walkman and pressed the play button. It was completely silent. Then after about 10 seconds, I heard faint talking. The voices sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite put my proverbial finger on where I had heard it before. Then finally, I heard some music. It was two minutes and fifty-eight seconds of delight. Whilst the music began, I realized why I recognized the voices, as the song was Candyman by Zedd and Aloe Blacc. A great big smiled covered my face as I reminisced about the M&M's commercial and the joys that it brought me back in the day.
Around a minute into the song, I started to notice something. It seemed like there was an issue with the tape or something, as I could hear a large amount of static noise filling the left stereo track. I brushed this off as an issue with the tape and thought nothing more of it. This all changed after the song ended.
After the song ended, I could hear everyone talking. Everyone was talking about how great their recording session was, but something seemed off. The static was still there, and it started getting louder. It sounded as though Zedd had left the room. Aloe Blacc was still talking, however, and another voice was still responding. Suddenly I recalled the voice in question. It was the blue M&M.
At this point, the static was getting so loud I couldn't tell what was happening. That's when it happened.
The static stopped. Then I heard screaming coming from Aloe Blacc followed by gunshots. It was surreal. I realized why Aloe Blacc never made any music since 2016.
I sat there for a few minutes, taking in everything that I had just experienced. Aloe Blacc was killed by the blue M&M.
I decided to reach out to Zedd on Twitter as to the existence behind this tape and his possible involvement with this cassette. He told me that he had nothing to do with it and promptly blocked my account.
This is a public warning. The blue M&M is dangerous. Please be careful around M&M's.