Dangit these men in jumpers keep using their darn fancied gas chromatograph mass spectrometers
on my boot halations. I mean, like, come on. There's no reason to perpetrate such a moronic and
arrogant transgression upon the Boho community. Please, to whoever reads this, don't assume
indignance on my behalf. These young tiddleficklers need to be put in their place, preferably in the
septic underchambers of the Gary Fillmore's think tank. To this end, we as a united nation must band
together to destroy the means by which crimes of this nature are committed; the virtual tubule
webscape. Yes, with utmost conviction, I, no, we, the most pompous of posses, are declaring war
against the simp community and their associated fandom pages. The planned battlefields of
gladiatorial combat include: FD, Australia, Heart of China, W3-4, X:78 Y:556 Z:756, and one
counter-pick of our nefarious opposition.

Drafting commissions will commence at the prompt arrival of the month of April.
Please enter your credentials on the form below. Veterans of Fidel Castro's assault on planet Reach
are exempt from conscription.

Boots on the ground, soldier! Hooch'll be on the front lines waiting!